Loneliness began thwarting my addiction like a cancer and suicide looked more like a blessing every day. I had never been more vulnerable in my life, to anything, and it's like she knew. It's like Ashley knew exactly when to message me. I had forgotten all about her along with everything and everyone else. I had forgotten her eyes, her smile, her legs, and most of all, how she made me feel. I felt something, for the first time in what seemed like eternity. Besides anguish, misery, pain, self pity, and doubt, I felt something exquisitely good. She played her words well, she knew what to say and when to say it. Granted, It's much easier to seduce a man when he doesn't have much to live for compared to when he was virtually on top of the world. For me, my good feeling continued to grow and build on itself. I felt my old sex drive coming back, that heavy, intense urge to be a fucking a****l. We talked for a few more weeks and one day she said she was visiting in town and wanted to stop. So I found more guys and ended up in my first threesome with a couple a few days later where I topped and bottomed for the first time (will post story later.) Being able to top and bottom at the same time was some of the hottest moments of my life and the top of the couple did a great job of being the first to fuck me. He made me feel and explore urges I had not really had the courage to explore before. I needed more hard cock in my ass. A few days after my first time bottoming in the threesome and I was more confident in my ability to take a hard cock again, I set out to find a man to fuck me. The process took longer than I had hoped but it was partially do to my own ***********ivity. I needed a guy who would be patient with me since I lacked experience and I also had my own preferences for guys I hooked up with. I usually went for older daddy types but would give about any guy a chance. And after about half a day talking to guys, the guy I finally ended up agreeing to meet was not.
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